5 More Reasons You Should Not Delay Getting a Divorce in 2014

The decision to file for divorce is never easy – and it shouldn’t be.  After all, you and your spouse made what was supposed to be a life-long commitment “til’ death do you part.”  But “things” happen.  Sometimes the things are within our control, i.e. extra-marital relationship, substance abuse, etc., but sometimes there are life changing events that are beyond anyone’s control, i.e. illness, loss of job, parent’s illness, etc. I am assuming that you have sought professional help from a qualified mental health professional and have tried to persuade your spouse to participate in marital counseling.  Experienced marital therapists have told me that for a couple to “know” if the marital counseling is helpful, it is necessary to see the therapist once a week for four months.

  1. Your children are learning what marriage is like from yours.  This is particularly true if you have young children at home.  Do you want your children to have a marriage like yours?  Children have the “right” to be raised in a family with love, commitment and honesty.  Do you want your children to be treated by their future spouse, the way you are being treated?  The sooner that your children are no longer witnessing the hostile environment in your home, the better it will be for them in their future relationships.
  2. You will be more productive in your job and career, if you are not carrying the weight of being in an unhappy relationship.   It is very difficult to achieve your potential when most of your energy is being devoted to getting through to the next day.  Motivating yourself to work harder to acquire more financially is very difficult when mentally you are out of the marriage.  Who wants to earn more, when the likelihood is that whatever you earn will have to be shared with your current spouse?
  3. You are tired of making excuses to your friends and family as to why you are attending alone.  Holidays are full of parties and family dinners.  It is becoming harder and harder to explain to others that your spouse had “another commitment” when you do not even believe it.  Family members and close friends have “known” that “something” was not right in your marriage.  It will be a relief for you not to have to lie.
  4. You are tired of feeling obligated to attend work-related social events with your spouse when he/she asks.  In good times, being “the designated spouse” can be fun.  It can be a tremendous source of pleasure to be with someone you love very much in their work environment and see them achieve professional accolades.  But when you do not want to be married to your spouse and have little or no interest in the career or the people they work with, it can be torture.
  5. You are depressed at looking at your spouse in bed, or at the table and keep wishing you were somewhere else – anywhere.  All the magic has long gone.  Whenever you see pictures of you and your spouse in happier times, you can’t remember the feeling.  It is time to be proactive and get divorced.

Do you have legal questions? We’re here to help your family. Call us at 770-333-1620.

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